Seriously, I may cry.
I'm attempting to book flights for My Husband and I to visit my family this Thanksgiving (his family gets Christmas this year). Of course he doesn't get the Wednesday before Thanksgiving off, so I'm trying to book after 5pm since the closest airport is 2 hours away and return at some point on Sunday the 27th. Can I do this for under $1000? I think not. I may not be able to do this at all.
It's just so unfair. What gives the airlines the right to jack up their prices not only on holidays, but on the 10 days surrounding those holidays?! It's bad enough I'm 1500 miles from my family, most of whom I haven't seen since Christmas, but in order to visit them for a measly 4 days I have to take out a freaking bank loan to pay for it.
If I drive, I have to do it on my own since My Husband doesn't have enough time off to make the two-day trek. And of course every girl wants to be alone on a dark road in the middle of nowhere 5 months pregnant with her first child.
Sidenote: it's military policy that one cannot use one's vacation time in addition to authorized block leave. So if My Husband were to request Wednesday off as one of his built up vacation days, he'd be required to take the rest of the holiday weekend from his time as well. So we have the "choice" of using 0 vacation days or 5.
And even my "in" with Southwest is getting me nowhere...my free flight, courtesy of the amount of money I spend on my Southwest Visa Rewards Card, isn't valid for travel during the week of Thanksgiving. I had to use it on our Christmas flights (which I booked and still cost us $600 with my airtime being free).
THIS IS SO FUCKING STUPID.
I hate this. I hate it. Why does air travel have to cost me a month and a half's rent? Because the airlines made some shitty deal with the oil companies when oil was $200 a barrel and now that it's way down they're still paying? Don't even get me started on the oil companies.
Of course I could forgo Southwest and pay the $100 round-trip bag fee on any other airline. I could ship our luggage to my parent's house, but the Postal Service may fold before it got there.
So here's my $1500...for a flight with at least one stop in the middle, getting felt up by security, a plane that won't leave or arrive on time and is more than likely overbooked, with a pilot who's on Facebook while flying, no food or drinks for free and a two-hour trek home after we land. Sign me the fuck up.
I'm so very unhappy with this situation. If I wasn't so stuck on spending THE ENTIRE CHRISTMAS holiday with my family next year instead of splitting it in half like last year and freaking having second Christmas at my mother-in-law's I'd call the whole thing off and just have Thanksgiving here.
But I haven't seen my family since I found out I was pregnant and I miss them something awful.
Love costs. Frankly, with the amount love has cost me in the past and undoubtedly will cost me in the future, I can't believe I have anything more to give.
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
In-Law Visit
My Husband and I just got home from a few days visiting his family in Chicago, Illinois. His sister India and her husband Stuart live there with their daughter Lena (she just turned 2 years old). So My Husband's parents and his oldest brother Holden drove in from Pennsylvania to meet us there.
It was...an experience, as all these visits tend to be. Luckily for me I seem to be developing a sort of desensitization to their various antics. My Husband's family has no boundaries (no topic is taboo, no closed door means privacy) and they are all, in general, very nice but angry people who would benefit immensely from therapy.
My Husband's mother is a tough woman who grew up in the Philadelphia projects with her single mother and two siblings. Her father's abandonment left her with some serious scars that her marriage made worse.
My mother-in-law met and got pregnant by My Husband's father when she just barely 20. My father-in-laws family, very traditional and more on the moneyed side, didn't approve of the match at all. But all parties were Catholic and marriage was the only option.
My father-in-law is an alcoholic. He's good-natured but incredibly selfish and was unfaithful to my mother-in-law during spats in their marriage (something I've never told anyone). She became very insular and focused on her five children, glossing over their mistakes and trumpeting their successes.
Holden is angry and an alcoholic like his father. He's handsome and charming but incredibly disappointed that his life did not turn out how he planned it (marriage and children) and is consistently jealous of My Husband and insecure about his place in the universe.
India has a judgemental streak a mile wide; which is slightly ridiculous since her family hated Stuart and are still disappointed their relationship is successful. She was convinced I was not good enough for My Husband and, quite frankly, never let me forget it for their first three years we were dating. Marriage and motherhood has mellowed her out, but she's still desperate for reinforcement that she's raising her child properly.
Middle brother Dorian and youngest Charles were not there, so I'll save their paragraphs for another time.
Anyway, the only real hitches in the weekend were the fact that India is pregnant again...a sore spot for me, since we're trying and have been so far unsuccessful. My visit to my grandmother's grave (my father was raised in Chicago) was spoiled by everyone's insistence on accompanying me...nothing like trying to have a moment with your dead grandma while hosting some kind of macabre field trip.
Holden spent a good part of the next day pissed at me...India and Stuart invited their aunt & uncle (my father-in-law's brother) who live just outside the city, to dinner. India and her parents took Lena to gymnastics and the boys were out drinking, leaving me alone in the house to prepare for guests. The boys (Holden, Stuart and My Husband) were TWO HOURS late, leaving me alone with the aunt & uncle for about an hour in a house that wasn't mine and was devoid of most supplies necessary for entertaining.
I called My Husband to see were they were and let him know I was put out about the situation...I guess he was upset enough to try and rush the guys home. Apparently Holden didn't appreciate my "demands," that their time together was cut short as well as the fact that I only set out two plates of hors d'oeurves. I overheard him complain to his mother that he and Stuart "set out everything" when they got home.
Oh, did I mention that Stuart had the list of antipasti India wanted out and where she wanted it? Damn, I've gotta get my mind-reading abilities in check.
He's just a pissy man and I pretty much hate him right now. In the past, similar feelings of disapproval about my behavior would have sent me into tears...I hate disappointing people...but I think I may be getting a little more used to their outrageous expectations and can deal with them more effectively. I'm trying to focus on the fact that no matter what I do, someone is going to be mad at me...had I set up the table perfectly Holden would have complained to his mother that I'm full of myself and think I can throw a better party than them.
But just the idea that every single family visit is going to have some kind of instance like this makes me...exhausted.
It was...an experience, as all these visits tend to be. Luckily for me I seem to be developing a sort of desensitization to their various antics. My Husband's family has no boundaries (no topic is taboo, no closed door means privacy) and they are all, in general, very nice but angry people who would benefit immensely from therapy.
My Husband's mother is a tough woman who grew up in the Philadelphia projects with her single mother and two siblings. Her father's abandonment left her with some serious scars that her marriage made worse.
My mother-in-law met and got pregnant by My Husband's father when she just barely 20. My father-in-laws family, very traditional and more on the moneyed side, didn't approve of the match at all. But all parties were Catholic and marriage was the only option.
My father-in-law is an alcoholic. He's good-natured but incredibly selfish and was unfaithful to my mother-in-law during spats in their marriage (something I've never told anyone). She became very insular and focused on her five children, glossing over their mistakes and trumpeting their successes.
Holden is angry and an alcoholic like his father. He's handsome and charming but incredibly disappointed that his life did not turn out how he planned it (marriage and children) and is consistently jealous of My Husband and insecure about his place in the universe.
India has a judgemental streak a mile wide; which is slightly ridiculous since her family hated Stuart and are still disappointed their relationship is successful. She was convinced I was not good enough for My Husband and, quite frankly, never let me forget it for their first three years we were dating. Marriage and motherhood has mellowed her out, but she's still desperate for reinforcement that she's raising her child properly.
Middle brother Dorian and youngest Charles were not there, so I'll save their paragraphs for another time.
Anyway, the only real hitches in the weekend were the fact that India is pregnant again...a sore spot for me, since we're trying and have been so far unsuccessful. My visit to my grandmother's grave (my father was raised in Chicago) was spoiled by everyone's insistence on accompanying me...nothing like trying to have a moment with your dead grandma while hosting some kind of macabre field trip.
Holden spent a good part of the next day pissed at me...India and Stuart invited their aunt & uncle (my father-in-law's brother) who live just outside the city, to dinner. India and her parents took Lena to gymnastics and the boys were out drinking, leaving me alone in the house to prepare for guests. The boys (Holden, Stuart and My Husband) were TWO HOURS late, leaving me alone with the aunt & uncle for about an hour in a house that wasn't mine and was devoid of most supplies necessary for entertaining.
I called My Husband to see were they were and let him know I was put out about the situation...I guess he was upset enough to try and rush the guys home. Apparently Holden didn't appreciate my "demands," that their time together was cut short as well as the fact that I only set out two plates of hors d'oeurves. I overheard him complain to his mother that he and Stuart "set out everything" when they got home.
Oh, did I mention that Stuart had the list of antipasti India wanted out and where she wanted it? Damn, I've gotta get my mind-reading abilities in check.
He's just a pissy man and I pretty much hate him right now. In the past, similar feelings of disapproval about my behavior would have sent me into tears...I hate disappointing people...but I think I may be getting a little more used to their outrageous expectations and can deal with them more effectively. I'm trying to focus on the fact that no matter what I do, someone is going to be mad at me...had I set up the table perfectly Holden would have complained to his mother that I'm full of myself and think I can throw a better party than them.
But just the idea that every single family visit is going to have some kind of instance like this makes me...exhausted.
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