Twilight Saga

So I have now officially read all of the books in the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer.  You know, the ones Hollywood made the movies out of starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner (who I kind of have a crush on, poor boy).

I did not read the books right when they came out...I skipped right over teen stuff and into the realm of adult novels around the age of 12.  And when it came to vampire books, I was always more canon-oriented...Anne Rice, that sort of thing.  And of course, Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, who never strayed very far from pre-conceived vampire myths. 

But My Husband was gone one of these past weeks and I was feeling lonely and romantic, so I Netflixed Twilight.  I did not like it very much...Kristen Stewart's Bella stumbled through the movie bewildered and Robert Pattinson's Edward attempt at struggling with his conscience came across as constipated.  So I told my little sister, Sarah, a HUGE Twilight fan, about my reaction and she suggested the books were much better.  Considering Sarah has probably read ten books cover to cover in her entire 24 years, I gave it a shot.

I started with #3, Eclipse and immediately proceeded to #4, Breaking Dawn.  Then I read the 12 online chapters of Midnight Sun (Twilight from Edward's perspective), then Twilight and finally #2 New Moon.  In case you were wondering, each novel took me less than 24 hours.  Reading comprehension has always been one of my strengths.

My opinion is, of course, tempered by all my previous experiences with vampire literature.  I felt Stephenie Meyer strayed a bit too far from canon...mostly concerning how we are all pretty much alive at a vampire's discretion and there is absolutely nothing one can do to defend oneself if under attack.  Obviously I agree vampires are stronger, swifter and more silent than human beings but the complete lack of weaknesses (no stakes?  no sun?) makes them more godlike than I am used to.  I hate the idea of there being no hope unless some other magical creature comes to my rescue or the vampires have decided to abstain from human blood.

I appreciated the utter romance of Bella and Edward's relationship but could never get over her seemingly callous treatment of Jacob.  Considering My Husband's looks, temperament and build, I'd assume I'm more of a werewolf girl at heart anyway.  Sarah thought I'd be 100% behind Edward and Bella no matter what (I have a reputation as a romantic), but there were a number of points I wished she'd just shut up about it and go with Jacob.  Especially after Edward abandoned her (New Moon) and didn't pay nearly enough to get Bella to take him back.

Don't misunderstand me.  My love for My Husband is epic.  But if he left me for 8 months, telling me he didn't love me anymore and then came back after I prevented him from committing suicide...you don't even KNOW how I would make him pay.  I love him with my whole heart, and if he broke it I may require the breaking of his bones to cover the debt.  Then I'd forgive him.  Pain for pain.

Still, no one writes more romantic men than women.  I wonder if it's because we know exactly what we want to hear?  I mean, some of the words to come out of Edward's mouth were enough to melt all my insides.  Maybe that's what Meyer's plan was...Edward, with his cold skin and gentlemanly, from-another-era manners, represents the platonic, old school aspect of love.  And Jacob's husky voice, high temperature and warm body equates the lust Bella can't have with Edward until she's his equal.  Still, Jacob's devotion to her was painful.

I don't understand why she didn't just say, "I've imprinted on Edward, and we are soul mates.  I love you as a friend and as a brother but I will never, EVER feel the way about you that you feel for me."  You know?  It was so Arthur-Guinevere-Lancelot I could have puked.

Of course, I was lucky enough to convince one man to fall in love with me, so I've never had the patience for girls who inspire that kind of genuine commitment from multiple suitors. 

Omnipotent in America

Ah, election season is fast approaching.  Makes me think of all the things on my personal political agenda.

Random List of (some) Things I Would Do if I was Omnipotent in America:

• Make a rape or molestation conviction punishable by life in prison.  Rape is murder the victim survives and should be treated as such.
• Require some form of military service in order to be eligible to run for President (opportunities will include all civilian support jobs).
• Lower the presidential eligibility age to 25.  I know plenty of 25-year-olds I'd rather run the country than Sarah Palin or Mitt Romney.
• Require people to retake their driver's exam at age 65...and every two years after that until they die.
• Streamline the process for adopting/fostering American children.  And lower the cost.
• Rehaul FEMA.  Rehaul Welfare.  Rehaul Medicaid.  Rehaul Social Security (you get the idea).
• Federalize the following industries: aviation, energy and possibly medical care (but I have to do more research on that one).
• Create a rule that states every time members of Congress vote themselves a salary increase, an identical salary increase is put in effect for public school teachers.
• Make it a felony to possess any dog or cock fighting paraphernalia.  Strengthen animal abuse laws and sentences.
• Get rid of the electoral college.  We may have needed it in 1793, but not anymore.
• Streamline the process to become an American citizen.  The quicker we get them in here, the quicker they'll have to pay taxes.
• Adopt an isolationist international relations policy until our military is back at full strength.
• A New New Deal: we've got a whole lot of unemployed people and a whole lot of infrastructure that's falling apart.
• Make Congress as a whole accountable to the IRS.  Watch your spending now, won't you?
• Legalize marijuana and tax the hell out of it.
• Make it illegal to own a wild animal, like a tiger or a chimpanzee, as a pet.  There are more tigers in Texas than in India.
• Let Jamie Oliver into all American public schools so he can work his nutritional magic.
• Federal funding to museums and zoos to lower or eradicate admittance fees.
• Remove the phrase "under God" from the Pledge of Allegiance.  Remove all religious references from all American currency, documents, buildings and publicly funded entities.  There's the separation of church and state for a reason.
• Revoke all "golden parachutes" for executives of businesses requiring federal bailouts and redistribute them among the American public.  Don't worry, CEO, you'll get your (significantly downgraded) share.

How Evolved are You?

A few days ago at the gym I saw a television advertisement for something called The Creation Museum in Kentucky.  From what I can tell, a Christian organization called AnswersInGenesis funds and runs the museum.  Apparently the building is devoted to the Earth's creation as described in the Bible. 

Frankly, I'm very confused.  The museum claims God created the Earth and everything in it in six days.  Adam, Eve and all the animals (including dinosaurs) lived together in the Garden of Eden and ate only plants.  It contains a number of fossils, the result of the Great Flood which only Noah and his family survived.

I don't know a lot about fundamental Christianity, since I wasn't raised that way (Lutheran Catholic mother who is more concerned with personal spirituality than church canon and a holiday Roman Catholic father) but I do know they take the Bible literally and consider it the actual words of God.  I know they reject the principles of evolution because A) human beings are made in God's image and therefore could never have looked like monkeys and B) if evolution was true, all monkeys would have evolved into people as evolution always ends in a creature's "perfect" form.

The following is completely editorial and I in no way intend to offend anyone.

My first issue with the Creation Museum is the Earth's age: 6,000 years.  According to most accepted scientific theories, modern homo sapiens (the classification of all human beings) began to appear about 200,000 years ago.  Anthropologists base this on fossilized bones...their shape and size matches our own almost exactly.

That's 194,000 years of struggle and hunger and childbirth and sex and love that apparently never happened.  If each of those people had a soul (as I personally believe almost all living things do) that's hundreds of thousands if not millions of souls God is "ignoring."  And considering "His eye is on the sparrow," I sincerely doubt that.

I suppose there is an argument that these bones are those of the people who died in the Great Flood, along with the bones of dinosaurs.

So let's move on to those dinosaurs.  The Creation Museum claims dinosaurs lived side by side in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve and ate only plants.  If God creates perfection and makes no mistakes, how could a Tyrannosaurus Rex eat plants without the necessary flat teeth for grinding them?  Meat-eating dinosaurs could not have possibly survived on plants...they couldn't have broken them down properly for digestion.

My last bit is about human beings being created in God's image.  As a person who spends a lot of time with animals, I can tell you they are far more Christian than any person I've ever met.  They love with abandon, forgive even the most grievous offenses, suffer willingly and require only basic necessities and love to survive.  Animals are made in God's image, and humans are devolved from their perfection. 

I came across this interesting article about how Chimpanzees give birth.  The baby emerges from the birth canal headfirst facing upward so the mother has an easier time lifting the baby toward her and clearing the airway.  This is almost exactly how human beings have babies.

I'll write more in the future about the correlation between science and religion and my own opinions about it, but for now I think I've given you enough to chew on.

 

Misandry

Misandry [mis-an-dree]; NOUN -- the hatred of men or boys.  On the model of "misogyny."

I have my share of vices...probably my share and more.  One of them, which I have identified and am working on, is a prejudice against men.  I don't hate men as a rule; I don't trust them to be good people.  I can count the number of men I trust on both hands...it's certainly less than ten.

I know, I know, I'm a total hypocrite.  It's completely wrong to judge an entire group of people based on the slim fraction of said people I've met.  I just...I can't seem to help my knee-jerk reaction.  If I'm alone with a man in a room, my heart rate rises.  I prepare to fight of flee.  I don't make eye contact with men on the street.  I try not to touch men in passing.  I keep myself as invisible as possible.

I'm going to be completely honest: when I see a man on the street looking at me, I assume he wants to have sex with me.  What I don't trust is his ability to control that urge.  I'm not saying I'm so freaking gorgeous men can't contain themselves...I think this is how they respond to most women.  See woman: want to fuck.

Even as I'm writing this I'm disgusted with myself.  I've never put these feelings down on "paper" before; I've just accepted them as a normal part of my makeup.  In attempting to clarify them I see how very bigoted they are.

Now, I love My Husband with my whole heart.  He would rather cut his arm off than hurt a woman.  I love my father and both my grandfathers.  I trust a few of my male friends.  I trust my therapist.  But as for My Husband's brothers...he has three and I trust one.  I don't trust his dad.  One brother and My Husband's father have both put their hands on my butt in what I assume they thought was an appropriate manner. 

Of course, I don't like to be touched by men in general. 

Obviously this is an overblown response to the fear of sexual violation.  Is it excusable since I am capable of accepting men as good people on a case-by-case basis?  Is it excusable because these feelings may have contributed to my safety in the past 26 years?  Or is it exactly the same as colonial slave-owners who considered their African slaves to be more animal than man?

I'm leaning toward the latter.  Ugh, the self-loathing.

How will I raise my sons?  How will I prevent them from feeling inherently "bad"?  Every time I reflect on my personal inclinations I stress on how to prevent them from leaking into my children.

Another Day, Another Online Discovery

In my internet travels this weekend I came across an organization dedicated to "connecting the civilian and military worlds."  In the days of pop stars' plea deals and political posturing making headlines instead of our men and women overseas, it's nice to discover websites like this one.  They sponsor billboards and television ads to remind civilians there are two conflicts going on and soldiers and their families are still sacrificing.

Don't get me wrong, I like the Entertainment Section as much as the next person.  Probably more so since I'm so into the movie/television/theater scene.  But it's difficult to comprehend that in 2006, almost one third of American students polled couldn't find the STATE OF LOUISIANA on a map of the United States...half couldn't find Mississippi (I don't even want to think about the brain hemorrhaging caused by looking for Iraq or Afghanistan).  But I guarantee you 100% of those kids could name the four main characters in Sex & the City.

And I know the whole point of My Husband's service is so that little Iraqi girls and boys have the opportunity to learn about geography or which Jimmy Choo sandals go with which one night stand, but one would think the approximately 5,000 hours kids spend in schools each year would ensure something scholastic stuck in their little brains. 

Anyway, special thanks to Operation Never Forgotten for this photo and all the good work they're doing for military members and their loved ones.

"Are you a good witch or a bad witch?"

I came across an interesting article about a woman who claims she was fired from her job as a TSA agent in Albany, NY because A) she complained about the terminal's lack of security and B) she practices Wicca.


Wiccan "Triple Goddess" symbol.  It represents
the Maid, Mother and Crone and the
phases of the moon.

 Wicca, in case you didn't know, is a duotheistic (a male and a female deity system) nature-based religion that predates Christianity.  It's interesting because it happens to be vehemently female-centric (something modern religions lack, if you ask me).  In any case, it IS a recognized form of worship here in the United States...so that means the First Ammendment protects Wicca and you can't discriminate against someone because of it.



Courtesy of tsa.gov

 Anyway, you can read the full article here.  It strikes me as a little jaded toward the Wiccan woman, but it's obvious this is a convoluted issue.  What gets me is the original complaint against Smith, made by a supervisor she'd already had an issue with (Mary Bagnoli).  Apparently Bagnoli told supervisors Smith followed her car in her own vehicle one snowy night and put a hex on Bagnoli's heater so it wouldn't work.  She claimed to feel threatened by this episode of "spell-casting."

I'm sorry, is this real life or a Saturday Night Live skit?

So whatever you think about Smith's work record or behavior post-complaint and whether it warrants termination, you HAVE to admit taking that heater thing seriously is pretty freaking ridiculous.

Shouldn't TSA agents stop harassing each other and, oh I don't know, prevent another 9/11? 




*If you'd like to learn more about Wicca, please visit http://www.wicca.org/ or http://www.religioustolerance.org/witchcra.htm.

Just Another Reason to HATE Flying

There are a few private industries I think are so out of control the government needs to step in and reform them.  This may sound communist or socialist to some, but I think the United States can stand a little more of the government working for the people.

One of these industries is the oil industry.  The summer before My Husband and I got married, gas in Massachusetts was $5.00 gallon.  You know how much profit Exxon Mobil made in 2008?  They registered $45.2 BILLION in profits, according to the Washington Post.  That's just not right.  With gas that high, oil companies should be BREAKING EVEN...managing to pay all their employees and keep themselves afloat, but that's is absolutely it.  Five dollars a gallon and after everything is said and done, almost 10 BILLION times that in pure profit?  I'd say that's bad business and the government has a right to step in.

Now the oil companies should be joined by the airlines.  I know they took a hit with that crazy-petrol summer and that's when a lot of this nonsense started, but now that barrels of oil are down to a "manageable" price, airlines refuse to remove the fees they put in place to try and even out their fuel losses.

Now you pay for beverages, carry on luggage and the chance to choose your seat in Coach (which is what I discovered the last time My Husband and I flew).  It's $15 on American Airlines to select a seat in Coach ahead of time...if you opt out of this, the airline assigns you a seat at its discretion.  I gotta tell you, the gall of someone asking me to pay $15 to ensure I fly next to My Husband made me want to hit somebody.

My newest issue has to do with taking advantage of Americans attempting to get out of Japan.  I feel for these people, since the Marine base on Okinawa is full of folks just like me.  I came across this article last night, and I just had to share it with you.

http://www.kdvr.com/news/kdvr-grandmother-says-airlines-gouging-americans-fleeing-japan-20110317,0,5003272.story

According to the story, flights from Japan to the United States run about $1500 round trip per person (of course, not accounting for baggage or seat fees).  The average price of flights now is between $4000 and $5000 ONE WAY.  The most interesting point was in a comment below the story, where reader Shannon Hanks disputes the airlines' position the flights are so expensive because they're booked on short notice:

"Bought a one-way ticket with AA from Seoul to th [sic] US a few weeks leaving on June 1st.  This ticket cost around 1200 USD and is still ofered [sic] for this price.  It flies from Seoul into Tokyo and then to Dallas, Texas.  BUT if you just want to fly from Tokyo to Dallas minus the Seoul leg of the trip it costs you 3-4,000 USD and this is not a last minute ticket. Terrible thing for the airlines to do at a time like this!"

Pardon my language, but this is fucked up.  How is this not against the law?  Is anyone watching these airlines to make sure this kind of pricing is kosher?  Where is the BBB when you need it?

People are not going to stop flying, just like they're not going to stop putting gas in their cars.  I honestly don't think "supply and demand" applies in these two industries.  There will always be demand...so someone who has more than "billion$ on the brain" needs to regulate the supply.
   

Unprotected Sex? LOL!

Courtesy of http://www.hollybaby.com

You know what's funny?  When teenagers whose only claim to "fame" is being friends with another teenager (whose only claim to "fame" is an inability to use condoms) tweet they're pregnant too!  I honestly can't think of an announcement more deserving of an LOL!

I'm sorry, did any of my sarcasm drip on you?

Nineteen-year-old Megan Nelson, former roommate of Teen Mom 2's Chelsea Houska announced her pregnancy on Twitter with the gem: "No names yet and not 16 & pregnant lol im nineteen."

According to http://www.hollybaby.com, Nelson and her boyfriend of four months, some Air Force guy named Cody, are due in July (quick math kids...that places conception sometime in November, so I guess that's where the "boyfriend of four months" comes from) and the rumor is she's angling for a spot on MTV's Teen Mom 3.

You can read their whole article here.

My Husband and I continue to discuss the timing of our having our first baby...the financial aspects, the health issues and the possibility of his deployment sometime during pregnancy, birth or the baby's first year.  I've read everything I can get my hands on; I've considered every avenue.  What if the army relocates us?  What if it doesn't...should we buy a house here?  Should we try and time the pregnancy or should I throw my birth control away and leave it to Fate?  I'm telling you, this has been at the forefront of my mind for at least three months.

And here's this child having a baby with some dude she barely knows and it's all LOL, sparkly cell phones and Ed Hardy tees.

So am I wrong to judge?  Well, obviously it's wrong to judge but my halo's in the shop so I'm letting that one go.  It is hard for me to swallow the idea this girl...most Teen Mom girls, for that matter...are not facing the REAL consequences of such young motherhood.  They're actually being rewarded for it...I've heard two (Farrah and Maci) have used their MTV paychecks to get boob jobs.

I'm thinking about when I should start saving for college for a baby who does not even exist.

So you know who the real losers here are?  The kids.  These gorgeous little babies are watching their parents smack each other around (Teen Mom Amber), get high (Teen Mom Jenelle) and/or call each other heinous names (Teen Moms Chelsea and Kailyn). 

Wasn't the point of this program to show the "real" problems of a teenage pregnancy?  Shouldn't it have taken the route of MTV's True Life, where producers had to sit back while participant Unique discovered she couldn't use a friend's personal check to pay for her family's first groceries in a month (and had to tearfully leave the store empty-handed)?

Unique (True Life: I'm supporting My Family) became a single mom at 17 with the birth of her son Dominick and then the sole support for her 3 younger sisters when her mother committed suicide two years later.  She was also responsible for one sister's boyfriend and their own unborn child.

True Life graphically showed the family struggling to pay for necessities, Unique's customer service day job and her nights spent stripping for extra income, driving an ancient minivan to the Salvation Army or the Open Pantry for supplies and putting together good meals on a tiny budget.

She kept her family together and out of foster care with enormous sacrifice of self.  Blogger Leila wrote a nice summary of the episode here.

THAT'S real motherhood.  Celebrate that, MTV.

A Manicure with a Side of Racism

I was supposed to have lunch on post Friday with My Husband’s troop but not a lot of people showed up so he told me not to bother.  I had already cancelled my standing weekly appointment with my therapist, so I found I had a few hours free.

I’m a nail biter but I’m vain enough to leave them alone when they’re pretty, so I decided to go get a manicure.  I headed over to the nail place in our local Wal-Mart (so I could get milk too) and chose O.P.I.’s “Red My Fortune Cookie” and took a seat.

This particular salon is run by a Vietnamese family.  Everyone who worked on me made very polite conversation.  In one lull in the chatter I was subjected to an example of racial stupidity I haven’t seen in a while.  A 50ish woman at the station behind me was having her purple talons accented  with flowers or something foolish.  She was attempting to make small talk with her manicurist; a girl who’s English wasn’t so stellar.  The woman noticed the girl’s Board of Health Certificate posted on the wall and made a half-hearted attempt to pronounce her name (by the way, it was Ngo Thien Vu) and then asked, “Have you chosen an American name for yourself yet?”

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!  First of all, our language is not American, it’s English (would you ask a Sean from Ireland if he’s "chosen an American name yet?") and just because you can’t pronounce the name someone’s mother gave her, you small-minded Midwestern bitch, doesn’t mean she should pick an Anglo one you can.

This poor manicurist just muttered no, to which the woman knowingly replied, “It’s a hard decision to make.”

I can’t stand this “White America” anti-immigrant assimilation bullshit.  The national language of the United States is English, so as long as one can handle Basic English (or have someone who can translate readily available) I have no issues with maintaining one’s culture.  Of course, this also means American travelers should stop running around foreign countries obnoxiously shouting “CAN…YOU…UNDERSTAND…ME?” at the top of their lungs.

As soon as my appointment ended I got the hell out of there before she could ask if having "slanty eyes" impairs your vision or something.  I can only take so much bigotry in one day.