Twilight Saga

So I have now officially read all of the books in the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer.  You know, the ones Hollywood made the movies out of starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner (who I kind of have a crush on, poor boy).

I did not read the books right when they came out...I skipped right over teen stuff and into the realm of adult novels around the age of 12.  And when it came to vampire books, I was always more canon-oriented...Anne Rice, that sort of thing.  And of course, Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, who never strayed very far from pre-conceived vampire myths. 

But My Husband was gone one of these past weeks and I was feeling lonely and romantic, so I Netflixed Twilight.  I did not like it very much...Kristen Stewart's Bella stumbled through the movie bewildered and Robert Pattinson's Edward attempt at struggling with his conscience came across as constipated.  So I told my little sister, Sarah, a HUGE Twilight fan, about my reaction and she suggested the books were much better.  Considering Sarah has probably read ten books cover to cover in her entire 24 years, I gave it a shot.

I started with #3, Eclipse and immediately proceeded to #4, Breaking Dawn.  Then I read the 12 online chapters of Midnight Sun (Twilight from Edward's perspective), then Twilight and finally #2 New Moon.  In case you were wondering, each novel took me less than 24 hours.  Reading comprehension has always been one of my strengths.

My opinion is, of course, tempered by all my previous experiences with vampire literature.  I felt Stephenie Meyer strayed a bit too far from canon...mostly concerning how we are all pretty much alive at a vampire's discretion and there is absolutely nothing one can do to defend oneself if under attack.  Obviously I agree vampires are stronger, swifter and more silent than human beings but the complete lack of weaknesses (no stakes?  no sun?) makes them more godlike than I am used to.  I hate the idea of there being no hope unless some other magical creature comes to my rescue or the vampires have decided to abstain from human blood.

I appreciated the utter romance of Bella and Edward's relationship but could never get over her seemingly callous treatment of Jacob.  Considering My Husband's looks, temperament and build, I'd assume I'm more of a werewolf girl at heart anyway.  Sarah thought I'd be 100% behind Edward and Bella no matter what (I have a reputation as a romantic), but there were a number of points I wished she'd just shut up about it and go with Jacob.  Especially after Edward abandoned her (New Moon) and didn't pay nearly enough to get Bella to take him back.

Don't misunderstand me.  My love for My Husband is epic.  But if he left me for 8 months, telling me he didn't love me anymore and then came back after I prevented him from committing suicide...you don't even KNOW how I would make him pay.  I love him with my whole heart, and if he broke it I may require the breaking of his bones to cover the debt.  Then I'd forgive him.  Pain for pain.

Still, no one writes more romantic men than women.  I wonder if it's because we know exactly what we want to hear?  I mean, some of the words to come out of Edward's mouth were enough to melt all my insides.  Maybe that's what Meyer's plan was...Edward, with his cold skin and gentlemanly, from-another-era manners, represents the platonic, old school aspect of love.  And Jacob's husky voice, high temperature and warm body equates the lust Bella can't have with Edward until she's his equal.  Still, Jacob's devotion to her was painful.

I don't understand why she didn't just say, "I've imprinted on Edward, and we are soul mates.  I love you as a friend and as a brother but I will never, EVER feel the way about you that you feel for me."  You know?  It was so Arthur-Guinevere-Lancelot I could have puked.

Of course, I was lucky enough to convince one man to fall in love with me, so I've never had the patience for girls who inspire that kind of genuine commitment from multiple suitors.