Showing posts with label bigotry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bigotry. Show all posts

Monday, June 20, 2011

A Short Story

And now, a short story: 

Generally speaking, Dale James avoided the PX the day after payday.  Fighting the crowds, the baby carriages and the wayward carts was a mistake most army wives only made once.  But with FRG co-leadership thrust into her hands just days before, Dale had no choice but to brave the post-paycheck multitude to pick up some necessities for the next meeting.

She was poring over printer ink prices when she heard the sharp, hushed tones that signaled the beginnings of a public argument.  Turning slightly, she was surprised to see Specialist Forrest, one of her husband’s soldiers.  As a lieutenant’s wife, Dale made an effort to learn the faces and names of everyone in Charlie Troop.  Forrest’s cart butted up against that of a woman Dale didn’t know, pinning her into the office supply aisle.

The stranger was covered from head to toe in swaths of some kind of silky fabric patterned with red and gold flowers.  Her red headscarf was pulled low on her forehead, almost to her eyebrows, so that not a hair peeked under its hem.  Her eyes darted from the tired tile floor to Forrest’s face, whose breathless voice was starting to become loud enough to hear from where Dale stood.

“…that you’d even show yourself anywhere on post with that, that thing, on your head!  I'm so tired of this shit.  How dare you?  How dare you come into our store, into our country, looking just like the fuckers that are trying to blow us up?”

Clenching her jaw, Dale pushed her own cart toward the fray and interrupted brightly, “Mr. Forrest, how are you?” 

Whirling, Forrest scrutinized the intruder, “Oh, Mrs. James.  Hi.”

“Now, I know that wasn’t you I heard using such foul language in a place crawling with kids.  It must have been someone in the next aisle.”

Forrest colored slightly at being addressed so by the platoon leader’s wife.  “I was just…I was…”

Dale interrupted, “No, of course it wasn’t you.  You’ve got two young kids of your own, right?  And I know you wouldn’t use words like that in front of someone else’s little ones.  Speaking of, I’m sure you need to get right back to them.  I’ll see you at the FRG meeting on Friday evening, won’t I?”

With a fierce look to the woman in the headscarf, Forrest mumbled a reply and shoved his cart quickly away.  Her mouth set in a firm line, Dale watched the fuming young man disappear behind a display.

“I’m sorry about that.”

The stranger turned to Dale.  “It’s the same almost every time we PCS.  People call us traitors, call us spies.  My son gets pushed down on the playground.  My daughter cries about the time she will have to cover her hair.  My husband and I were born here.  We are Americans.  And we are Muslim.  It appears we can’t truly be both at once.”

Tilting her head slightly, she continued, “But you apologize for words that were spewed all over me by someone else.  Why?”

“Do you hate the people who take your faith in God and twist it into a weapon for their own ends?” Dale replied.

“Yes,” the woman said, “It’s one of the reasons my husband enlisted.”

“I hate those who take my skin color and stretch it like a mask over the face of bigotry, claiming to represent an America that I wouldn’t want my husband defending.”

“What is your name?” the woman asked.

“Dale.”

“I’m Selah.”

“Hello, Selah.”

“Hello, Dale.  And so, both of us seek to atone for the sins of strangers.  We feel guilty for their thoughts and responsible for their actions.  How strange.” 

Dale looked into Selah’s eyes and said quietly, “We are women, after all.”

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Misandry

Misandry [mis-an-dree]; NOUN -- the hatred of men or boys.  On the model of "misogyny."

I have my share of vices...probably my share and more.  One of them, which I have identified and am working on, is a prejudice against men.  I don't hate men as a rule; I don't trust them to be good people.  I can count the number of men I trust on both hands...it's certainly less than ten.

I know, I know, I'm a total hypocrite.  It's completely wrong to judge an entire group of people based on the slim fraction of said people I've met.  I just...I can't seem to help my knee-jerk reaction.  If I'm alone with a man in a room, my heart rate rises.  I prepare to fight of flee.  I don't make eye contact with men on the street.  I try not to touch men in passing.  I keep myself as invisible as possible.

I'm going to be completely honest: when I see a man on the street looking at me, I assume he wants to have sex with me.  What I don't trust is his ability to control that urge.  I'm not saying I'm so freaking gorgeous men can't contain themselves...I think this is how they respond to most women.  See woman: want to fuck.

Even as I'm writing this I'm disgusted with myself.  I've never put these feelings down on "paper" before; I've just accepted them as a normal part of my makeup.  In attempting to clarify them I see how very bigoted they are.

Now, I love My Husband with my whole heart.  He would rather cut his arm off than hurt a woman.  I love my father and both my grandfathers.  I trust a few of my male friends.  I trust my therapist.  But as for My Husband's brothers...he has three and I trust one.  I don't trust his dad.  One brother and My Husband's father have both put their hands on my butt in what I assume they thought was an appropriate manner. 

Of course, I don't like to be touched by men in general. 

Obviously this is an overblown response to the fear of sexual violation.  Is it excusable since I am capable of accepting men as good people on a case-by-case basis?  Is it excusable because these feelings may have contributed to my safety in the past 26 years?  Or is it exactly the same as colonial slave-owners who considered their African slaves to be more animal than man?

I'm leaning toward the latter.  Ugh, the self-loathing.

How will I raise my sons?  How will I prevent them from feeling inherently "bad"?  Every time I reflect on my personal inclinations I stress on how to prevent them from leaking into my children.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

A Manicure with a Side of Racism

I was supposed to have lunch on post Friday with My Husband’s troop but not a lot of people showed up so he told me not to bother.  I had already cancelled my standing weekly appointment with my therapist, so I found I had a few hours free.
I’m a nail biter but I’m vain enough to leave them alone when they’re pretty, so I decided to go get a manicure.  I headed over to the nail place in our local Wal-Mart (so I could get milk too) and chose O.P.I.’s “Red My Fortune Cookie” and took a seat.
This particular salon is run by a Vietnamese family.  Everyone who worked on me made very polite conversation.  In one lull in the chatter I was subjected to an example of racial stupidity I haven’t seen in a while.  A 50ish woman at the station behind me was having her purple talons accented  with flowers or something foolish.  She was attempting to make small talk with her manicurist; a girl who’s English wasn’t so stellar.  The woman noticed the girl’s Board of Health Certificate posted on the wall and made a half-hearted attempt to pronounce her name (by the way, it was Ngo Thien Vu) and then asked, “Have you chosen an American name for yourself yet?”
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!  First of all, our language is not American, it’s English (would you ask a Sean from Ireland if he’s "chosen an American name yet?") and just because you can’t pronounce the name someone’s mother gave her, you small-minded Midwestern bitch, doesn’t mean she should pick an Anglo one you can.
This poor manicurist just muttered no, to which the woman knowingly replied, “It’s a hard decision to make.”
I can’t stand this “White America” anti-immigrant assimilation bullshit.  The national language of the United States is English, so as long as one can handle Basic English (or have someone who can translate readily available) I have no issues with maintaining one’s culture.  Of course, this also means American travelers should stop running around foreign countries obnoxiously shouting “CAN…YOU…UNDERSTAND…ME?” at the top of their lungs.
As soon as my appointment ended I got the hell out of there before she could ask if having "slanty eyes" impairs your vision or something.  I can only take so much bigotry in one day.