Carolina in My Mind



Grapevines

Sorry for the radio silence.  My Husband and I just got back from his college roommate's wedding in North Carolina.  He was one of six groomsmen...one brother, one high school friend and four college friends.  John & Christie got married in a vineyard; it was a really beautiful setting and other than the temperature hovering around 92 degrees, the weather complied with the ceremony.







I wore a spring green v-neck dress with a draped tulip skirt from Spiegel and got a lot of compliments on it.  I think it made up for my rehearsal dinner outfit...a black sleeveless top and black satin cigarette pants with bronze pumps and a bronze belt.  Among all the southern belles in their sundresses and straw hats in the restaurant I looked like I was starring in a one woman off-Broadway show full of bad poetry and vagina euphemisms.

Ceremony

My Husband set up our hotel room as the gathering place, so couples were filing in and out at all hours pretty much the whole weekend.  Apparently it had the word CONFESSIONAL over the door, too, because one afternoon when My Husband was in the shower the groom's older brother (and best man) came in and spilled his guts to me between swigs of Maker's Mark.  Apparently he hates Christie and would never in a million years have been enthusiastic about standing up for his brother at the altar.

Seriously, why do people tell me these things?

So I had to stand at the mirror and put on my make up while making appropriate-yet-non-committal sympathetic noises about how Christie hasn't done anything to ingratiate herself into the family, how she and John's sister don't speak and how he wishes John would just call the whole thing off.  But, in some kind of martyred spirit of brotherliness he's going through with being involved in the ceremony because he just wants his brother to be happy and however unfortunate it is, Christie is the person who accomplishes that.

So let me step up on my soapbox for a minute and express my deep and long-standing belief that all siblings and friends of people in serious relationships should KEEP THEIR NEGATIVE OPINIONS TO THEMSELVES AND SHUT THE HELL UP.  Is the significant other of you loved one abusive?  Is he/she forcing them to sever ties with family and friends?  Is this significant other a violent religious fanatic or anarchist?  Is he or she regularly stealing money or property from your loved one, or cheating, or involved in high risk illegal activities? 

If not, then I repeat: SHUT THE HELL UP.

I am so over unsupportive siblings, family members and friends.  Just because she's not the person you'd pick doesn't mean she's not perfect for your loved one.  Newsflash: everyone is different.  You don't have to be friends, but you damn sure have to be civil and not act like being your brother's best man is akin to getting railroad spikes driven through your pupils. 

Maybe she's antisocial (or maybe she's shy).  Maybe she shuts herself up in her house (or maybe she has anxiety about large crowds).  Maybe her sense of humor is off (or maybe what you think is funny is off).  Whatever.  IT DOESN'T MATTER.  In this situation YOU DO NOT MATTER. 

Try and focus on...oh, I don't know...the people getting married.  Who put out this memo that a wedding is about absolutely everyone involved and invited except the bride and groom?  I want to kick that person in the teeth. 

Anyway.

We're home now and My Husband is back to work.  I'm off from the shelter this week because our Spousal Spur Ride (more on that later) is Friday and I don't want to completely suck through the whole thing.  Hope you all had a great Memorial Day.