The "List"

Have you guys ever played that game where you make a list of the celebrities you’re “allowed” to sleep with no matter what kind of actual relationship you’re in?  You may remember it as a storyline on a second-season episode of Friends (with Ross' laminated list and a guest spot by Isabella Rossellini). 

When I was in college we used to sit at the university-exclusive (no entry without an ID) pub and discuss it with everyone who popped in for a sandwich and a beer.  It made for some interesting conversation and seems to be a great way to figure out what attracts you to the opposite (or same) sex.

My personal list has morphed slightly over the years: Colin Farrell was on the original but got bumped when he grew out that greasy hair…Bear Grylls of Discovery Channel fame was there for a while but I crossed him off after watching him anally rehydrate himself with his own urine.  Even fake relationships can only handle so much.

Still, it’s pretty easy to see I have a type.  Google some photos of these guys...it'll make your day better, I promise:

1.       MARK VALLEY, actor (mostly television): Valley may be best known for his turn on Boston Legal, but I fell in love with him on Fox’s Keen Eddie years ago.  The show didn’t last but the DVDs are worth the Netflix…Keen Eddie was Sienna Miller’s American television debut.  He currently plays the main character on Fox’s Human Target.  The guy is basically the personification of testosterone.  His build, his face and his voice are all completely and deliciously male.  Plus he’s an army veteran.  Catching on to my type yet?

2.       MIKE ROWE, “media personality”: Rowe is another example of my addiction to classic masculinity.  His degree is in Communications and he’s done extensive television work, including developing and hosting Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel.  He’s funny, loyal (his crew’s been the same from the get-go) and he loves his mom.  And I’m a sucker for a nice baritone.

3.       NICHOLAS GONZALEZ, actor (TV & movies): I first noticed Gonzalez when he was a visiting detective on a mission on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.  Then he popped up on my Grey’s Anatomy successor Off the Map.  Turns out he’s not only a hottie, but an exceptional student with a degree from Stanford and two terms at Oxford under his belt.  His character on Off the Map grows cocaine, but obviously I’m hoping that won’t result in a police shootout death scene anytime soon.

4.       ANDREW LEE POTTS, actor (British TV & movies): As the anti-hero Hatter on Syfy Channel’s miniseries Alice, Lee Potts was introduced to legions of American fans even though he’s been on British TV for more than a decade.  He’s a main cast member on ITV’s Primeval, about a team of scientists and students who travel around Britain catching creatures from the past and future that slip into our world through slits in time.  If you’re interested, there’s a ton of original music videos celebrating his scenes from Alice (where he’s not only clever and quirky, but sits stoically through a torture session meant to break him) on Youtube.

5.       CHRIS LEAK, football player (University of Florida & CFL): Even though his NFL dreams seem to continue getting waylaid, Leak is a very talented quarterback with a long history of academic achievement and volunteer work.  Parade Magazine featured him as its 2003 High School Football Player of the Year, and I actually cut out his photo and kept it in my locker.  It’s hard to make the Canadian Football League watchable, but Leak does it.

On Deck (I apparently have given this a lot of thought):

·         RYAN LOCHTE, professional swimmer: I’ve always thought dancers have the best “feminine” figures and swimmers have the best “masculine” shapes.  Lochte is an excellent example AND he has a face to match.  He’s often overshadowed by Olympic teammate Michael Phelps, but his record at the University of Florida was stellar and he continues to be a real force in the swimming world.  I also appreciate this upstate New Yorker’s ability to stay out of the spotlight, something Phelps has some trouble with.

Try this with your friends.  You may be surprised at their answers and change some of your own J