Body Issues

I am a woman: therefore, I used to be a girl and therefore I have body issues.  As I contemplate future parenting, I wonder if there is any way to prevent my daughter(s) from developing similar issues.  I've come to the conclusion there probably isn't, but hopefully I can secure their confidence levels so they can get over said issues quicker than I did.

Last post I told you about my weight and how I’ve dealt with it over the years.  My other body issues range from skin color to hair color to everything in between.

I grew up in a very urban area, a major city in Massachusetts.  The high school I attended is in a rough neighborhood and had a student body to match.  Our racial demographic was pretty balanced…about 30/30/30/10 (with the 30s being white, Hispanic and African-American and the 10 being Asian).  As I’ve said, the predominant ideal of beauty comprised of caramel-toned skin, dark hair, light eyes and the curves of a woman twice your age.  Having only one out of those four down, I wasn’t considered the “hottest” of girls for most of my teens.

Being referred to as “white” was a grave insult in school.  When I was a child my sympathetic friends described my race as “clear.”  I burned my skin to a crisp those summers as I tried to tan evenly.  I dyed my hair brown (it ended up a dirty blonde and hasn’t returned to the white-wine color of my childhood since).  I made a big deal out of my Italian heritage (maiden name: RAMITTIO), which was the closest I could get to a minority bloodline.

Then came university, and the group of whitest roommates I could imagine: Gretchen from Maine, Caroline from a Boston suburb, Megan from upstate New York and Lauren from Michigan. 

And me. 

All my years of attempting to assimilate into another world left me ill-prepared for my new Dave Matthews Band-listening, pastel polo shirt-wearing friends.  Everyone’s skin was still tanning bed bronze, though.

Luckily college is a time to find the true you, so I eventually surrounded myself with a group of girls of varied interests and races whom I still consider my closest friends.  You can’t get me out into the sun without SPF 60 (melanoma is not worth the fabulous surfer skin) and I’m embracing my natural blonde…the color of antique gold jewelry.

But now I’m entering the 20-something world of pre-pregnancy and post-pregnancy weight, stretch marks and a slowing metabolism.  A whole new crop of body issues is sure to surface with this new stage I my life.  Hopefully my knowledge that I survived the last crop with a shred of self-confidence intact will help me weather anything new that comes my way.


PS -- Still struggling?  Check out Eve Ensler's play The Good Body.  Totally changes your perspective.