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My enthusiasm for Prince William and Princess Catherine's wedding has raised a few eyebrows among my acquaintances and My Husband's men and friends. In watching all my little television specials, I've come to the conclusion that besides my feelings about Diana and William from childhood, I respect and admire Catherine because I see a lot of my own life reflected in hers.
Now of course I grimace at all the descriptions of Catherine as being a "middle class" girl, because her parents are millionaires. And British millionaires, because of the exchange rate, are like double American millionaires. So obviously she's had much more posh opportunities than I have and grew up in aristocratic circles even if she's not a blue-blood herself.
But in learning more about the couple's relationship through university and after graduation, I see more similarities than I expected. Catherine helped William deal with the pressure of his studies and his future obligations. I can't tell you how many times I was on the phone with My Husband while he was at West Point talking him through poor test scores or acceptance jitters.
Catherine faced ingratiating herself into one of the most insular families (known in the U.K. as "The Firm") in the world. William is their "golden boy," their hope for the future and their pride and joy. My Husband has three brother and one sister...three older and one younger sibling total.
His younger brother is very similar to Prince Harry...buoyant, talented and light-hearted. His oldest brother, 33, has had numerous troubles with alcohol and anger management. He hasn't had a serious girlfriend in years and moved out of his parents house about two years ago. My Husband's sister, 31, married a man most of the family hates and lives 1,000 miles from her mother in Chicago...she becomes less of a favorite every day. Her "Irish twin," my Husband's other older brother (age 30), is temperamental and stubborn...he's never had a serious girlfriend and also moved out of the family home about two years ago.
My Husband is his parents' favorite child...he has a successful career, is handsome and fit and as an active army officer an American hero. I had a terrible time getting accepted by his siblings and his mother. I think now they were uncertain ANYONE could possibly be good enough for him, especially some girl he met away from home. His sister specifically treated me very poorly in the beginning, and his mother scrutinized my every move. Not nearly like having the Queen of England watch your table manners, but it sure felt that way.
After graduation from St. Andrew's, William went into training to become a military-grade rescue helicopter pilot and Catherine went home to her parents and worked for their party-planning company (completely putting to the side her degree in Art History). I graduated a year ahead of My Husband and didn't attempt to find work out of the Northeast so I could support him and see him through his final year at West Point.
So Catherine appeared to be treading water for a few years as William felt out his career aspirations. She was not working steadily or starting a family as her friends and peers were. As my friends from college embarked on graduate school or New York, Boston and Los Angeles to further their careers I worked for my father in his office. I accepted a job at a local theme park ringing register in a food court; I was a cater-waiter on weekends and a proofreader for two years for a small-time struggling greeting card distributor (all at the same time). Every news bureau, paper and television station I looked for work at denied my application. Every magazine I sent a story to rejected me. After My Husband graduated and went on to his first level of training, I remained in my parents home waiting to see were we would end up...physically and romantically.
I can't imagine the pressure Catherine must have felt from her parents, even subconsciously, not to screw up her relationship with the prince. My parents cautioned me as well in my behavior as a girlfriend...I wasn't to be as difficult as I usually was, or as demanding, or as selfish. My father purchased me a book, the first gift he personally picked out for me since I was a child, about West Point so that I could be a better girlfriend to a cadet. When My Husband told my father he was going to propose to me, my father said, "Are you sure?" When My Husband said yes, my father asked him to wait until after his graduation from West Point...after all, that event should be completely about him and I shouldn't be given the opportunity to steal the spotlight.
And then when Catherine and William finally began to live together on a remote island where William trained, Catherine gave up everything to be with him...her proximity to the hustle and bustle of London, her friends, her family and her job. She did the laundry and cooked his meals. Just like me.
I can't leave out the actual ceremony. I don't have any real idea of the process of planning a royal wedding attended by 600 and watched on television by 2 BILLION, but I remember a shadow of that pressure in planning our wedding.
I tiptoed around my sisters' jealousy and indifference, my parents' requirements and my future-in-laws' tantrums (my mother-in-law asked if a ceremony at my childhood Lutheran church would actually count in the Catholic church). I sacrificed personal preference in order to not appear wasteful or wanton and spent hours settling family grievances brought to a head by the approaching ceremony. As Catherine walked down the aisle in Westminster Abbey trying not to hyperventilate, I felt for her.
Then I watched William call her "babe," and Catherine ask him if he was happy I saw myself and My Husband. He's always been my rock and no matter what drama swirls around us he's never once faltered. His eyes were on mine that day at the altar; as far as he was concerned the 200 people in the pews did not exist. And I like to think William was the same way with his Catherine.
I think I love them both because I love myself and My Husband. I want all four of us to succeed and flourish despite the dangers of occupation and the familial pressure. I want us all to have beautiful, healthy babies who grow to define the term "well-adjusted." I want the royal couple to live happily ever after so passionately because I want My Husband and I to live happily ever after.
I'm sorry if my affection for the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge seems inappropriate considering we do not know (and probably will never know) each other personally. But I look to them as proof no matter what your lifestyle or the lifestyle that's been thrust upon you because of the person you fell in love with, love is possible. And it makes everything worthwhile.
